So, I guess I had a kind of epiphany this morning when I was feeling kind of down on myself. I was rushing around trying to get everyone ready to leave the house. Every morning I have this overwhelming feeling that I am never going to make it out of the house to get Cole to school. It seems like a simple task, but when you have two rather uncooperative kids to get ready, as well as yourself, and hubby who needs a lunch and a breakfast and to know where the clean towels are it starts to feel gargantuan. I was feeling, as I usually do, like I just don't have this whole thing down. I find that I spend so much energy thinking about how imperfect I am and all the things I should be doing to be perfect. So, today I just realized, I don't think I do perfect.
Of course, I know that no one is perfect. But some people do perfect better than I do. You know those people, some of you are those people. They look great, their houses look great, their kids look great. They have things organized and clean and you look at them and think, Wow, how do they manage to do it all...they have it all pulled together. Well, sadly, I don't think that will ever be me. I think my house at its best will always be tidy rather than spotless. My hair is always going to be a mess...come to speak of it so will Juliet's as she is a wild child. And I think as much as I try I'm not going to be that perfect girl.
So, I decided that's not my thing. I'm not saying I'm going to stop trying to be better person. But, I'm not going to beat myself up trying to be something that I'm not. Maybe I won't be the Mom who has it all together. I'll be the Mom who comes up with wacky games to play around the house. The Mom who sings in the car. I'll be a nonjudgmental friend and the woman that holds out hope to other women. They can say to themselves, maybe I don't have it all together, but look at Jessica...I guess I'm doing alright.
6 comments:
All I can say is a very hearty, "AMEN, sista!"
Jessica-
Well you are not alone, you've got company with me!! I never feel "together!" It's either hair or makeup in the morning, never both. And always something that is left on the to-do list every day! So no worries...you are not alone!
~Sandra
That's right honey. All you need to worry about it your family and yourself. Screw anyone who thinks your not perfect. I think you are a perfect mother, wife, daughter and friend. You are perfect in your own way. I love you Jess and you are perfect in my eyes!
Jess, I have thought about your entry for a few days and have meant to comment much sooner, but have been in the midst of an awful cold, taxes and life. But, I wanted to share with you something. . .last week I hosted a baby shower for two of my friends that live down the street. They are best friends and their due dates are just a few days apart. Anyway, as I had over 40 women in my house, I knew it had to be clean. So, for days I cleaned, cleaned, cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. And, after I cleaned I had cleaners come and clean again! That night my house SPOTLESS, but let me tell you what it cost me. I missed 4 days of joy - the kids weren't happy, I wasn't happy, I wasn't helpful to anyone, meals weren't great, I was hard on Jacob and I did no acts of kindness to anyone outside my family. Now, I had a clean house, but at what cost? I have a hard time balancing this crazy act, because I really thrive in cleanliness. But, I need to step back and think, "where are my priorities? What comes first? Will this make me happy when it's complete?" So, even a clean house isn't everything its cracked up to be. My kids won't remember my spotless wood floors that I labor over constantly. . .they will remember that I played with them, I took them to the park, I read to them, I taught them the gospel and that I loved them. I hope I always remember where love is. Thanks for your post. . it's made me ponder a lot.
Also, I think you are a wonderful mom and your kids are so blessed to be your babies. You know what you need? A vacation to San Diego so I can spoil you! That's what you need! Love you so much!
xoxo
Yes, I think I indeed need a vacation to California! Love you...
Post a Comment